They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
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We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
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We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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