The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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