cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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