fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i jhust puked up my retainher.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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