Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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