the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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