Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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