Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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