I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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