why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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