i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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