one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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