I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I need a beard to bite.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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