I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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