wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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