2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize