im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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