very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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