if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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