I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
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Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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