im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize