I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize