You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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