On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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