Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
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There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
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My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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