Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
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Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
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Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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