dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
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I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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