hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
another moral hangover. fuck.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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