i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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