we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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