finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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