We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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