we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
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Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
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I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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