life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize