Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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