4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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