I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
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