I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize