a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
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Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
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No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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