normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
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Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
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Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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