I think I just saw someone hide a body.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Houston, we have a blender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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