Why are handjobs necessary in class?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize