she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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