Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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