Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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