Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
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We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
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My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
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