you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
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got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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