We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
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she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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