never play flip cup with pint glasses
i think i have two assholes
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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