Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I bet he comes in French.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize